Read the text carefully and choose the correct answer (A, B, C or D).
HOW TO CRITICISE AND STILL BE NICE
para.1 Have you ever had an experience when someone has told you how fat you've become? Maybe you've heard from others how people view you as cold and unapproachable. Hurts, doesn't it? Believe it or not, people sometimes can be so tactless that they are not even aware when they've hurt someone's feelings. The receiving parties, especially the sensitive ones, may be offended by their remarks. This can result in conflict and arguments.
para.2 So what can you do if you really need to assert an honest criticism, but you're afraid of hurting others' feelings? Want to know the secret? All you have to do is sandwich your negative comment between two positive remarks. For example, your best friend Paul is going on his very first date. He's all excited but he doesn't have any fashion sense. He's wearing a bland shirt and old jeans. So what will you do to save Paul from an embarrassing first date? Would you say to him that the outfit he's wearing is repulsive? That would hurt his ego.
para.3 Well, you can first point out the things that you like in his overall appearance. Comment on his well-groomed hair. Ask him where he bought his aftershave because it can certainly attract women like bees to honey. Be sincere and honest. Then, insert in a nice and suave manner your point of view and advice. You could tell him something like: "Your shirt seems to be very comfortable to wear, Paul. Since this is your very first date, I think Sandra (his date) will be much more impressed if you wore something like the outfit that you had on my birthday." Afterwards, make another positive statement like: "You'll definitely make a big impact on Sandra. She'll fall head over heels over your gorgeous appearance and cheerful personality."
para.4 Do you think Paul would be offended by such pleasant comments? Not a chance. You have cleverly inserted a slightly negative feedback among acceptable and ego-boosting remarks.
para.5 People love compliments. They believe they've got the qualities, they want other people to intensify the great abilities that they believe to possess. People want to hear about their greatness from someone else's mouth, and they will be very glad if other individuals know about it.
para.6 So if you want to criticise anybody, remember to praise them first. It will leave a positive impression that you're a nice person. Then say what you have to say, but in a smooth and nonoffensive manner. Finalise with another positive reinforcement to establish a foundation of goodwill.
The author thinks that people are sometimes tactless because:
they like embarrassing or upsetting people.
they feel like having an argument with someone.
they don't realize they are hurting someone.
they think about the consequences.
The article claims that:
very few people actually like compliments.
people tend to believe compliments even if they don’t believe they are honest comments.
people tend to exaggerate their own greatness.
people enjoy being appreciated by others.
According to the author the secret of being nice while you’re criticising someone lies in:
having fair and concrete criteria for criticising.
flattering people before you tell them what you honestly think.
inserting your negative remarks between positive comments.
getting permission to share your comments.
Explain the meaning of the following sentences from the text: “(…) he doesn't have any fashion sense” (paragraph 2):
Explain the meaning of the following sentences from the text: “That would hurt his ego.” (paragraph 2):
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difficult to talk to, not easy to start a conversation with (adjective, paragraph 1)
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making you feel ashamed, nervous, uncomfortable (adjective, paragraph 2)
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dull and unexciting (adjective, paragraph 2)
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a set of clothes worn together, especially for a special occasion (noun, paragraph 2)
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looking neat and clean (adjective, paragraph 3)
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very attractive and impressive (adjective, paragraph 3)
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effect (noun, paragraph 3)
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